<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828</id><updated>2011-07-31T05:52:09.830-04:00</updated><category term='torture'/><category term='Muscle'/><category term='self important assholes are ruining the world'/><category term='chanukah'/><category term='I&apos;m Back'/><category term='rage'/><category term='ZZ Top'/><category term='salami'/><category term='Saturday'/><category term='slash&apos;s snakepit'/><category term='Weird'/><category term='school'/><category term='ridiculousness'/><category term='Hello'/><category term='viagra'/><category term='Angry'/><category term='johnny law'/><category term='lunch'/><category term='Shoe. Bush'/><category term='daven'/><category term='insane'/><category term='Shabbos'/><category term='Food'/><category term='Epic Fail'/><category term='Narsty'/><category term='Obama'/><category term='die evil scum'/><category term='in-laws'/><category term='Mott the Hoopple'/><category term='sodomy'/><category term='yankees'/><category term='Big Pimpin&apos;'/><category term='Bored'/><category term='shul'/><category term='Iraq'/><title type='text'>Sarcastic, Cynic, Skeptic...Frum</title><subtitle type='html'>Because, damnit my opinions matter...</subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default?max-results=100'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>26</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>100</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-5983467003864046319</id><published>2011-07-01T08:25:00.001-04:00</published><updated>2011-07-01T08:25:53.488-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Spam</title><content type='html'>I got hacked. Don&amp;#39;t open a link that looks weird.&lt;div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;My apologies&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-5983467003864046319?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/5983467003864046319/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2011/07/spam.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/5983467003864046319'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/5983467003864046319'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2011/07/spam.html' title='Spam'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-8066872123603166187</id><published>2009-08-16T20:21:00.002-04:00</published><updated>2009-08-16T20:25:25.800-04:00</updated><title type='text'>Almost that time again.....</title><content type='html'>School starts again for me on Thursday so I might be a more frequent visitor here if my classes are as boring as last semester, or if they are more difficult (which is probably the case) you will see me even less than you do now. With that preface.....&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I spent shabbos with my grandparents. Normally this is a tiring experience, for although I love them dearly they do grow a bit tiresome after long stretches. The moment which I most enjoyed was my grandmother saying to everyone that "I hate to be an anti-semite but when I was in wal-mart the chassidim were so rude that it made me sick. Pushing, shoving, running you down with the carts, being rude.I just can't stand it."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now there is no doubt where I get it from.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thanks Grandma.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-8066872123603166187?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/8066872123603166187/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/almost-that-time-again.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8066872123603166187'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8066872123603166187'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/almost-that-time-again.html' title='Almost that time again.....'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-4126422558230809901</id><published>2009-08-06T14:25:00.002-04:00</published><updated>2009-08-06T14:34:05.171-04:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='viagra'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='insane'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='rage'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='salami'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='lunch'/><title type='text'>Gaining Steam</title><content type='html'>So it is my last day of work for the summer. So far I have not worked but I did go out to lunch with the 2 partners here. Excellent food and surprisingly good company.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Meanwhile back at the ranch....&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My car is in the shop because it needs a new battery. I am pissed. I bought one and attempted to install it myself. I say attempted because I could not get the terminals off, and the mount cracked. So instead of saving money I now have a $50 installation bill by the mechanic.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In addition, I am going to drive upstate tonight for the weekend, as is the ritual for many of our people during the summer months. It is from the 3 days spent in the Catskills over the weekend where I derive much of my sarcasm and cynicism. I get to see how visitors (Jewish people) to an area they do not inhabit 10 months out of the year (the Catskills), so callously and rudely treat the "natives".&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Do jewish people not "get out enough" that they have to run around Wal-Mart wearing Mark Martin hats (the Viagra sponsored NASCAR driver) while waving salamis in the air? Do they have to fake limp to make use of the motorized shopping carts so they can race down the aisles at 0.5 miles an hour?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Is this what they think the rest of the world does when they go shopping?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ponder and comment over the weekend, i'll be back on Sunday.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-4126422558230809901?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/4126422558230809901/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/gaining-steam.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/4126422558230809901'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/4126422558230809901'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/gaining-steam.html' title='Gaining Steam'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-8382609810675385039</id><published>2009-08-05T15:21:00.003-04:00</published><updated>2009-08-05T15:28:16.949-04:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Epic Fail'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Narsty'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Angry'/><title type='text'>Continuing</title><content type='html'>Got one response to my coming back post. Pathetic, but I am a man of my word. I said I am coming back and I will.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Lately I have been much more on edge. The wrong comment, look, action and I find myself seething with anger. I would say this is a problem that needs to be addressed but what if it is only my fellow Yidden who bring this out. Can one have Anger Management issues only in response to one type of person?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Why cant Jews act like the rest of society? I am not even talking about money laundering, or kidney selling. I am talking about behaving like a civilized human being, like someone who has actually spent some time alive in the outside world.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I am not going to go into specific examples because I will fly into a fit of rage (which is not tolerated in my office) but if you have stories to share please post them in comments and I will be sure to respond/elaborate/rant/seethe with anger.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-8382609810675385039?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/8382609810675385039/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/continuing.html#comment-form' title='18 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8382609810675385039'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8382609810675385039'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/continuing.html' title='Continuing'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>18</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-2169144626312223787</id><published>2009-08-04T14:30:00.001-04:00</published><updated>2009-08-04T14:32:18.281-04:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Narsty'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='I&apos;m Back'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Bored'/><title type='text'>5 months and change.....</title><content type='html'>Been awhile but I think I am coming back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If you read this, comment. Just write something. I want to know if I am talking to myself or if there are others out there who care. 5 and a half months has left me with a lot of material.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Brace yourself hombres.....&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-2169144626312223787?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/2169144626312223787/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/5-months-and-change.html#comment-form' title='3 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/2169144626312223787'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/2169144626312223787'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/08/5-months-and-change.html' title='5 months and change.....'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>3</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-795417712455849522</id><published>2009-02-25T14:37:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2009-02-25T14:38:37.949-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Twit!</title><content type='html'>&lt;span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-family:verdana;"&gt;Don't have time for a full update seeing as how I am in class, but you can now follow me on twitter - @FrumCynic&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-family:verdana;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="Apple-style-span"  style="font-family:verdana;"&gt;I am assuming no one actually cares, but I feel obligated to post this.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-795417712455849522?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/795417712455849522/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/twit.html#comment-form' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/795417712455849522'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/795417712455849522'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/twit.html' title='Twit!'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-8614879324836082942</id><published>2009-02-22T09:48:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2009-02-22T09:51:16.182-05:00</updated><title type='text'>and on the 5th day.....</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: verdana;"&gt;It is hotter than a camel's balls in the Sahara. The heat is set on 71 and there is nothing I can do about it!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: verdana;"&gt;The food, is as bland and colorless as ever, and no one seems to care!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: verdana;"&gt;The lights are off, the shades are drawn, and everyone is on the verge of depression;but I have no idea why.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: verdana;"&gt;Stay tuned for more, hilarity (or suicide) will ensue.....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-8614879324836082942?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/8614879324836082942/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/and-on-5th-day.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8614879324836082942'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8614879324836082942'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/and-on-5th-day.html' title='and on the 5th day.....'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-1807736006454890241</id><published>2009-02-19T15:34:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2009-02-19T15:56:59.030-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Food? Really?</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family:verdana;"&gt;Supper last night: Meat, potatoes, carrots cooked in a platic bag, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;sans seasoning&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Question - "What kind of meat is this?"&lt;br /&gt;Answer - "Pepper Steak, but I don't like cooking with peppers so I made it this way in the bag."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;C'mon, at least try a little.....&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-1807736006454890241?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/1807736006454890241/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/food-really.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/1807736006454890241'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/1807736006454890241'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/food-really.html' title='Food? Really?'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-2089753046008095309</id><published>2009-02-19T14:00:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2009-02-19T14:09:03.125-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Superman</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: verdana;"&gt;I have an ongoing fascination with a particular asshat in school. My friends and I refer to him as Superman, because only the Man of Steel could possibly carry out all the things he claims he does. And only the Man fo Steel - Guido version could tell it over with his flair.&lt;br /&gt;Here is a typical comment -&lt;br /&gt;Superman: "I went to the gym last night and blasted my lats for 4 hours. Then I came to school and 6 am did 6 hours of Con Law, took a 20 minute nap and went back to the gym. Gotta work on my pecs, man."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Recently however, he made a comment so startlingly retarded that I laughed out loud, even though I was a mere 10 feet away. Let me set the stage. Two girls come into class. They are &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;best friends&lt;/span&gt;, and are practically joined at the hip. You almost never see one without the other. Both are fairly attractive and are borderline anorexic skinny. They sit down and the fun began.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Older Woman: "Are you 2 best friends?"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Best Friends: (somewhat sheepishly) "Yeah"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Older woman: "I knew it! You have a certain look about you, that I just knew you&lt;br /&gt;were best friends."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Superman: (in an uncomfortably loud voice) "It's because they are both hot!"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Need I say more?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-2089753046008095309?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/2089753046008095309/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/superman.html#comment-form' title='3 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/2089753046008095309'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/2089753046008095309'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/superman.html' title='Superman'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>3</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-3925370923213388609</id><published>2009-02-17T14:41:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2009-02-17T14:46:52.522-05:00</updated><title type='text'>I'm Back.....</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;So the day you have been waiting for with baited breath has arrived; I have come back to blog again. For a change though this will be a happy, carefree, giggly, jubilant post, although that will soon change as i will explain.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;See, my wife gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday. That makes me a father. Freaky yet cool all at once. I don't have much more to say, other than holding your child in your hands is unbelievably awesome. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Now, I get to move into my in-laws house. That is where the dark side of this blog will return, and I will be here to tell you all about it.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;So, revel in my renaissance and await my next post.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-3925370923213388609?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/3925370923213388609/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/im-back.html#comment-form' title='3 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/3925370923213388609'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/3925370923213388609'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/02/im-back.html' title='I&apos;m Back.....'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>3</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-846433343252203952</id><published>2009-01-18T22:17:00.004-05:00</published><updated>2009-01-18T22:21:50.562-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Ugh</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Reality is finally setting in. There really is only one person who reads my blog. No matter I will trundle on for her sake (you know who you are) :)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I started school again and after a week of classes I remembered why I loathe it. endless class hours, sitting in the library for interminable periods of time, reading until my eyes hurt. All fabulous stuff. On top of all that I have gotten three grades back from last semester. the first 2, well they were awesome. I was on a high, the likes of which I have not experienced in years. And then it all came crashing down when grade three came in. Like a dart to the lung I was deflated so fast I shocked myself. It hurt and it hurt bad.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That's it, grieve for me.....and look for my recipes to start showing up on material maidel's recipe blog &lt;a href="http://koshercuisine.blogspot.com/"&gt;Kosher Cuisine&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-846433343252203952?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/846433343252203952/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/01/ugh.html#comment-form' title='3 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/846433343252203952'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/846433343252203952'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/01/ugh.html' title='Ugh'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>3</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-3487724083230078595</id><published>2009-01-12T00:23:00.005-05:00</published><updated>2009-01-12T00:40:55.978-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='die evil scum'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='johnny law'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='self important assholes are ruining the world'/><title type='text'>Back to Basics</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;I just noticed that it has been 10 days since my last post. That is far too long. There is no real reason, just that when I am not in school I spend much less time in front of a computer so I forget to post. School starts tomorrow so I should be posting more frequently, but don't bet on it. However, I think I have 4 readers (+/- 4) so not to many people noticed my absence. Feel free to let me know if you have.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;Having just read &lt;a href="http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com/2009/01/breaking-news-v11.html"&gt;nameless&lt;/a&gt;' post about her taking down some of her old stuff because it grossed her out, I realized that my old stuff didn't gross me out so much as it made me upset. If only because I started this as a place to get my homicidal, maniacal, anti-human race, Brooklyn-hating, Jewish-stereotype bashing out in the open, and I have not done nearly enough of that. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;So, let's return to our roots. I spent Shabbos with my mother's entire family. 25 people around the Shabbos table. It was so crowded we all had to eat in unison otherwise you couldnt lift your fork without nearly maiming the person next to you. Friday night the subject of double parking came up. I can think of a few things more rage inducing than a double parked car as I am trying to drive, but not too many come to mind. Why the f-ck do people think that their trip to the cleaners, liquor store, takeout place etc. is more important than anyone else's time? (Assholes on Avenue M I am talking to you.)Who the f-ck died and made you king? In my opinion, it's not that there are too many, but there are not enough meter maids giving double parking tickets, and the tickets they write are not enough. If you are sitting in your car double parked you should get a ticket, and 2 points on your license as if you committed a moving violation. If you double park and leave your car? Let the air out of one or more tires (depends on how long you have left your car). Then when you try to change it in middle of the street, maybe a good samaritan will hit you and put you out of your misery.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;If this offends you, I don't give 2 sh-ts (as long as you keep reading of course). I am done being nice.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-3487724083230078595?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/3487724083230078595/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/01/back-to-basics.html#comment-form' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/3487724083230078595'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/3487724083230078595'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/01/back-to-basics.html' title='Back to Basics'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-8636417714851830875</id><published>2009-01-02T00:02:00.005-05:00</published><updated>2009-01-02T10:14:46.195-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='ridiculousness'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='yankees'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Angry'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Weird'/><title type='text'>The Safety Dance</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;I haven't posted in a week. Only one person, maybe two probably noticed but I will keep posting anyway. I was away for a few days in Atlantic City. A friend of mine who is a degenerate gambler got a room comped for me and my wife so we took advantage. Now that I am back, $20 dollars richer, I will respond to &lt;a href="http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com/"&gt;nameless'&lt;/a&gt; tag of me in &lt;a href="http://materialmaidel.blogspot.com/"&gt;Maidel's&lt;/a&gt; meme game.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So here we go, 7 interesting things about me, Cynic.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1) Acrophobia. Not severe but pretty debilitating. Not paralyzing, but enough to make me shake and break out in a sweat. bad enough to have to be pushed off a high diving board into a pool because I could not jump myself. Yet, I absolutely love roller coasters. Maybe the fear makes it more enjoyable, I get more of a rush, I don't know what it is but I avoid high places, like a fat guy avoids broccoli. I keep my distance.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2) I am a huge sports fan. Yankees, Giants, Islanders. 2 out of 3 ain't bad...My mood ranges from happy to euphoric when my teams win, and from sad to deep depression when they lose (except for the Islanders, I have become desensitized to them losing). I follow my teams every day all year round, whether it is their season or not. Newspapers, radio, internet, I use them all for information. So, you might think I play fantasy sports but......&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;3) ...I hate fantasy sports!!! If you are a fan of any team, root for that team for crying out loud! There is no reason why every sunday you should be sitting watching a completely random football game hoping the backup tight end gets 3 touchdowns, and the wide receiver passes for a score. Be a fan, not an asinine stathead.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;4) Obscure 80's bands. One hit wonders. The more obscure the better. Men Without Hats. Lipps Inc. Devo. Bow Wow Wow. Soft Cell. Waitresses. Falco. Dexy's MIdnight Runners. After the Fire. I'm a big fan, period.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;5) Biking. Not of the spandex wearing or harley riding variety. just good old bike riding. I am a bit more serious than your average cyclist, but I have not reached the stage where I own more than one bike, ride with a group, have bike specific clothing, or suffer from saddle sores. I just like to get out on my bike and ride. 20-30 miles at a time, upstate is my favorite location, preferably with music in my ears. I aspire to need spandex (for that will mean I lost alot of weight).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;6) Cheap. I am cheap. Occassionally petty as well but always cheap. Good qualities in a hooker (cheap anyway - thanks &lt;a href="http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com/"&gt;nameless&lt;/a&gt; for that one) I don't like to spend money, and when I have to, I minimize it as much as I can. Based on a poll of my two other really cheap friends I placed second. By a wide margin, but also comfortably ahead of the third place finisher.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;7) Lastly, I have never gotten completely drunk. Drunk enough to not drive? Yes. Drunk enough to puke in a curbside garbage can? Yes. But completely drunk to the point where I dont remember what happened, or lost control? No. I am way to guarded for that. Deathly afraid if what I will say or do while inebriated to let myself ever reach that stage.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And now the wrap up. Thank you &lt;a href="http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com/"&gt;nameless&lt;/a&gt;, for making me sit here and come up with this list. I know I told you I would not do it but I decided that I would suck it up and come up with 7 things. They are mostly lame, but they should evoke more than one comment, so I guess I would win in that case. I have but one person to tag, so hopefully this does not die with me. &lt;a href="http://nemosramblings.blogspot.com/"&gt;Nemo&lt;/a&gt; you're it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="text-align: center;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;u&gt;Seven Facts About Me&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;  Here are the rules:&lt;br /&gt;1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.&lt;br /&gt;2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.&lt;br /&gt;3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.&lt;br /&gt;4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-8636417714851830875?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/8636417714851830875/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-havent-posted-in-week.html#comment-form' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8636417714851830875'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8636417714851830875'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-havent-posted-in-week.html' title='The Safety Dance'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-4444827959123817979</id><published>2008-12-25T23:20:00.004-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-25T23:34:03.571-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Epic Fail'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Angry'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='sodomy'/><title type='text'>Epic Fail</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;It has been a few days since I last posted, and I know there are a (very) few of you who may have noticed. The reason is that I have had a Chanukah party every night this week, save for tonight. Why is Chanukah the time designated to annoy the crap out of family and friends with excessive lame parties? (especially from the in-laws side) The rest of the year we don't "party" but com Chanukah and we can't stop. Are we that jealous of all the Christmas parties? If you are, go and bake a fruitcake and leave me out of it. I dont need to be bothered.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But, I wanted to say something else also. Maybe this will explain why my tone is especially bitter tonight. I went skiing today and suffered an epic fall. I am a pretty good skier, everything but the hardest double black diamond trails and I wiped out fantastically on the bottom of a ridiculously easy blue trail. I slammed my head to the floor, bruised my cheek, gave myself whiplash and lastly, suffered a crushing blow to my pride and ego.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now you know why I am bitter. And no, another Chanukah party from the in-laws side, after Shabbos by the in-laws, will only do one thing; make me homicidal.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It should give me plenty of what to rant about though, but I refuse to see the good in this yet. Stay posted maybe I will find it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-4444827959123817979?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/4444827959123817979/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/epic-fail.html#comment-form' title='3 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/4444827959123817979'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/4444827959123817979'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/epic-fail.html' title='Epic Fail'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>3</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-1252964552081261854</id><published>2008-12-22T01:07:00.004-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-22T01:17:38.335-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='ridiculousness'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='chanukah'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Shabbos'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='in-laws'/><title type='text'>A(nother) Holiday?</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;So Chanukah is upon us. don't get me wrong, I love this time of year and I love Chanukah. My hebrew birthday is righ after and it is generally a happy time of year. Although I wonder how much of the happiness is attributable to the festive christmas atmosphere everywhere.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For the 8 nights of Chanukah I have 4 parties, but i will get into that subject a little later. for now I have a more pressing concern.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Shabbos Chanukah.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I get invited by both my parents and my in-laws. Apparently it has become another yom tov which must be split between the two sides? When did this happen? Do we really need another one? All I know is that one isde will end up being insulted if we don't go to them so that is what it comes down to.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Seriously, when did this become a shabbos where you have to invite company and make a big deal? All i hear is "where are you going to be for shabbos chanukah?" Wtf? When did it become it's own entity? Is it just mine and my wife's family? Anyone else experiencing this ridiculousness?!?! Anyone care to venture a reason?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-1252964552081261854?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/1252964552081261854/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/another-holiday.html#comment-form' title='4 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/1252964552081261854'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/1252964552081261854'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/another-holiday.html' title='A(nother) Holiday?'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>4</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-6037735179716226846</id><published>2008-12-21T00:23:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-21T00:32:13.638-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='shul'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Angry'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Shabbos'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='daven'/><title type='text'>Loud Noises</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Although I am not too tired (ala &lt;a href="http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com"&gt;Nameless&lt;/a&gt;), I just don't have the patience to sit and write a long-winded post right now.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So a quick question which shul on shabbos has given me. This is for all the frummies out there who read this (c'mon I know there are more than my usual commenters who read this). Why must you daven so loud in shul? I know &lt;a href="http://www.frumsatire.net"&gt;FrumSatire&lt;/a&gt; has mentioned this, but I really need to get to the bottom of it. Do you really think that the volume of your davening is directly proportionate to its meaning and value? One argument is that it helps you concentrate (I know because I have heard this from a loud davener himself), but I just cannot help but to think that there can be some other way for you to channel your concentration besides yelling like a howler monkey. Someway where you will not annoy me to the point of physical assault, yet still maintain your high level of concentration.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Anyone else have this experience? Is it only men or women also?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-6037735179716226846?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/6037735179716226846/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/loud-noises.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/6037735179716226846'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/6037735179716226846'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/loud-noises.html' title='Loud Noises'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-6053325124819091524</id><published>2008-12-18T21:56:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-18T22:21:13.209-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='torture'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='school'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='sodomy'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='slash&apos;s snakepit'/><title type='text'>It's Five O'clock Somewhere</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;The moment I had been waiting for finally came, and it was strangely anti-climactic. I should have known it was going to be, but I kept hoping and anticipating anyway.&lt;br /&gt;In my opinion being in law school is like being a golfer or a gambler; 2 people who according to Lewis Black, lead much fuller lives when they anticipate, and which are really crappy when they participate.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yes, I finished my semester and it sucked. It went a little something like this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The whole semester - crappy&lt;br /&gt;Studying for Finals - amazingly and horrifically crappy&lt;br /&gt;Taking Finals - cumulatively like getting stoned .....see,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="text-decoration: underline;"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;&amp;#160; Banking Law - Chinese Water Torture&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;&amp;#160; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Constitutional Law - Flogging&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;&amp;#160; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Corporations - Blunt Force Trauma&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;&amp;#160; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Evidence - Sodomy&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now I know what you are thinking, how does he know what it feels like to get stoned, or flogged, or water-tortured? The answer is I don't. But, I can't imagine it is any more painful, emotionally and cognitively, than finals in law school. To wit, If my Evidence exam could have stood up behind me, it would have performed unspeakable horrors, which would leave me in therapy for a very long time.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thankfully they are over, and I can get back to doing things I really enjoy. Blogging, preparing for a child iy"h, eating, skiing, eating etc.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;P.S. If you know what any of those things actually feel like, please let me know. If you don't feel free to speculate in the comments.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-6053325124819091524?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/6053325124819091524/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/its-five-oclock-somewhere.html#comment-form' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/6053325124819091524'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/6053325124819091524'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/its-five-oclock-somewhere.html' title='It&apos;s Five O&apos;clock Somewhere'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-6431732137018182427</id><published>2008-12-16T13:32:00.004-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-16T14:08:59.702-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Angry'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Muscle'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Food'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Hello'/><title type='text'>14 Years</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;As any fan of hard rock and pasty white men with awful corn rows can probably tell you, Guns N' Roses released their long awaited album about a month ago. This, after 14 years and a reported $13 million spent in making it. I am an unabashed fan of G&amp;amp;R and have no qualms about liking the new album, even if Axl is the only remaining member from the original band. I am almost sorry to say, (except that I really don't have time to care) but the album is not really missing Izzy, Slash and Duff. But I did not come here to critique the album. No one cares what I have to say about the music....but the vocals are vintage Axl, and the guitar, featuring Buckethead, while not quite equaling Slash's previous work with the band, is certainly excellent. The lyrics are just as angry, and the total sound is as much over the top now as it was then. Not a *Great* record, but certainly much better than average. But I digress...&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;The latest story is that W. Axl Rose is Anthropophobic, which according to &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://medical.merriam-webster.com/medical/anthropophobia"&gt;Websters&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt; is a "pathological fear of people or human companionship". That is amazing. All this time he had been keeping the album had been in hiding, and when it finally drops he develops a paralyzing phobia of people and goes into hiding himself. Oh the irony.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;I now go back to listening to Shwayze (thank you &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://materialmaidel.blogspot.com/"&gt;Maidel&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt; for the download) while I study....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-6431732137018182427?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/6431732137018182427/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/14-years.html#comment-form' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/6431732137018182427'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/6431732137018182427'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/14-years.html' title='14 Years'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-5580450720907072273</id><published>2008-12-15T11:38:00.007-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-15T16:52:52.284-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Angry'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='ZZ Top'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Shabbos'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Hello'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Saturday'/><title type='text'>If I Could Only Flag Her Down</title><content type='html'>I am annoyed at myself. The last post was lame and I should not have written it. I usually don't post twice a day but I am kinda angry at myself, and I don't want that post as the top one on my blog for the next day or two. So now with some Offspring playing in my headphones, I can write the post I should have written for today.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What is wrong with people that they can't say Good Shabbos when you pass them on the street? I went to a different shul this past shabbos, and while walking to and from shul which is a few blocks from my house I passed numerous people; men, women, old, young, in between. I made it a point to give a little nod and say "Good Shabbos" to these people. No one f*@#ing answered back!!!! What the hell is wrong with people?! Are  the women afraid they are gonna catch some sort of STD by saying Good Shabbos to a guy? Is this what they teach in BY these days? Are the single girls so nervous at hearing a guy's voice that they can't answer back? How about the married women, does wearing $4,000 shaitel automaically make you a rude b*tch? I am not asking for your parking spot, or a sexual favor I am just saying God Shabbos. Common courtesy would dictate that you answer me, or at least nod! Why was I ingnored by every person?&lt;br /&gt;This extends to men as well. Do they think tbey are gonna get AIDS? Are they afraid saying Good Shabbos to a guy makes them a homosexual? I thought maybe that was the reason, but then I remembered &lt;a href="http://jacobdajew.blogspot.com/2008/12/do-jewish-boys-have-no-beitzim.html"&gt;Jacob da Jew&lt;/a&gt; quoting a post by the &lt;a href="http://materialmaidel.blogspot.com/2008/12/do-jewish-boys-have-beitzim.html"&gt;Material Maidel&lt;/a&gt; about how jewish boys have no beitzim, and realized that it made sense. If you have no balls, then maybe you are shy and awkward around other men, like a preteen girl would be. To this I say "Grow a pair!" It is a frikkin Good Shabbos, not a sexual proposition!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And I am not asking for anyone to initiate this, I know that a snowball has a better chance in hell than that happening.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So what's the deal?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-5580450720907072273?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/5580450720907072273/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/if-i-could-only-flag-her-down.html#comment-form' title='6 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/5580450720907072273'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/5580450720907072273'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/if-i-could-only-flag-her-down.html' title='If I Could Only Flag Her Down'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>6</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-8937909218780766163</id><published>2008-12-15T10:43:00.006-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-15T11:24:10.622-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Iraq'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Obama'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Muscle'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Shoe. Bush'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Big Pimpin&apos;'/><title type='text'>Boogie Shoes</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"&gt;So if you are not holed up in some bunker, you probably have heard that President Bush was the target of a shoe throwing attack:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;object height="344" width="425"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rfYBGl9q30c&amp;amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1"&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rfYBGl9q30c&amp;amp;color1=0xb1b1b1&amp;amp;color2=0xcfcfcf&amp;amp;hl=en&amp;amp;feature=player_embedded&amp;amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I for one think this is hilarious. Watch the whole video and you will see that Bush is much cooler than anyone thinks. For starters, he went in for the handshake with the Iraqi PM like they were frat brothers. Then when the guy throws the shoe he sidesteps the first one, doesn't even flinch at the next one, and jokes about it after! How cool is that? (and the Iraqi PM makes an attempt to block the second shoe, but notice how he didn't try &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;too&lt;/span&gt; hard...)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I know, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Obama&lt;/span&gt; could have done better right? &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Obama&lt;/span&gt; would have caught the shoe.  &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Obama &lt;/span&gt;would have dunked it on his sorry ass. &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Obama&lt;/span&gt; would have&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh, and did anyone else realize that the Secret Service was incredibly slow in getting there? You think maybe they are tired of protecting his lame duck ass, and just want to see what it's like being the pimping for Obama? I wonder if there isn't some truth to that....&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-8937909218780766163?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/8937909218780766163/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/boogie-shoes.html#comment-form' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8937909218780766163'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/8937909218780766163'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/boogie-shoes.html' title='Boogie Shoes'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-453879836946117237</id><published>2008-12-12T14:19:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-12T14:27:10.904-05:00</updated><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Food'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Shabbos'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Saturday'/><category scheme='http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#' term='Mott the Hoopple'/><title type='text'>Saturday Gig</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;No I am not going to post a d'var torah here in honor of shabbos. I prefer to keep business (or Torah) in this case separate from (guilty) pleasure.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So in the spirit of Shabbos I will leave you with this thought. Is there anything more torturous than having to sit down to a Seudah Shlishis on one of these short shabbosim? You just finished eating, with barely enough time to sleep it off! Bear in mind this is coming from a man with a voracious appetite and somewhat of a bottomless pit for a stomach. Do you really want to sit down and eat tuna and eggsalad at 4:30 Shabbos afternoon? Do you? Really? Why?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Gut Shabbos,&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-453879836946117237?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/453879836946117237/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/saturday-gig.html#comment-form' title='5 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/453879836946117237'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/453879836946117237'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/saturday-gig.html' title='Saturday Gig'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>5</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-846894783411147210</id><published>2008-12-11T20:16:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-11T20:22:57.645-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Fanfare for the Common Man</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;A quickie...After spending some very extended hours in my school's library basement these past few weeks studying for my finals, I have made a decision. On a whole I find that gentiles (I don't like the "non-jews" phrase) are nicer to complete strangers than frum jews are (excluding the obvious extremes such as Lubavitch shluchim etc.) Maybe it's because we are a very insular community or maybe we are just naturally rude as a people, but I would like to submit this as a concrete conclusion from my very scientific research study.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Go ahead and roast me in the comments.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-846894783411147210?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/846894783411147210/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/fanfare-for-common-man.html#comment-form' title='12 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/846894783411147210'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/846894783411147210'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/fanfare-for-common-man.html' title='Fanfare for the Common Man'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>12</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-4016709363988444088</id><published>2008-12-11T01:15:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-11T01:24:51.900-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Blue Jean(s)</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;One final thought for the day. What is so terrible about wearing jeans? Why, when upon seeing a frum guy wearing jeans is the first thought in someones head always derisive? Jeans are made from cotton the last time I checked. Are they sewn in Satan's workshop? Are they the product of awful child labor? Is it the color? The texture? The taste? Their association with the rebels of yesteryear? The fact that only cool kids, or the so-called "bums" wear them? The 5 pockets instead of 4? The way they fit? (and I am not even referring to skinny jeans, more on that a different time).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What exactly is wrong with jeans?!?!?!?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-4016709363988444088?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/4016709363988444088/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/blue-jeans.html#comment-form' title='9 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/4016709363988444088'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/4016709363988444088'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/blue-jeans.html' title='Blue Jean(s)'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>9</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-3957171387517863518</id><published>2008-12-10T17:44:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-10T18:06:50.076-05:00</updated><title type='text'>Black and White</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;I have decided to start naming my posts after obscure song names from the 70's. Partially because it's music that i enjoy, and partially because it gives the commenters something to comment on. I won't give the artist name, so feel free to leave it in the comments for everyone else to see (extra credit if you get it without googling).&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The title of this post references a frum phenomenon that is getting worse and worse. The ubiquitous black hat which a large segment of the male frum population wears. I will not go into the reasons for wearing one or not wearing one as that is a personal decision and i could give a shit whether someone actually wears one or not. I do but I do not know for how much longer given the money it takes to acquire one these days.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, I will say that since the price has already crept north of $200 it's time to stop. I know there are many hats that can be purchased for far less than this, but, if I am going to buy one I will buy one that is going to last me a substantial amount of time, as well as look semi-respectable while it is on my head. To buy one that looks like those old man rain hats, or an old fashioned Stetson from the 80's is beyond ridiculous. You might as well take your money and give it to the guys who carry the "Why lie? I need a dollar for a beer" signs outside Yankee Stadium. You will be getting more utility out of your money that way.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There is no reason to pay a small fortune, whether you can afford it or not, for an item of clothing that is not stylish and has no real religious connotation. It is absurd to keep this racket going! There is enough extortion in the frum world for religious items that we do not need to perpetuate this ridiculousness. I am all for keeping tradition but this has gone to far. It is absolutely insane! Are there not enough holidays on the jewish calendar which can be used to extort money out of well meaning jews? I am well aware that this does not apply just to the black hat, but beyond what my wife spends on clothing, I do not possess the requisite knowledge to comment on the exorbitant sums dished out for tznius women's clothing at those pricey boutiques catering to the needs of the discerning frum woman. For those that have this knowledge feel free to deliver it in scathing fashion in the comments.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SCS...F&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-3957171387517863518?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/3957171387517863518/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/black-and-white.html#comment-form' title='24 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/3957171387517863518'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/3957171387517863518'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/black-and-white.html' title='Black and White'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>24</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-1499158220421433520</id><published>2008-12-10T08:22:00.001-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-10T16:14:37.734-05:00</updated><title type='text'>A half step back, but two steps forward</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;So I woke up this morning and realized that my first post was really hate filled. I do not regret this, I just feel like people may have misinterpreted the purpose of this blog. I am not here to hate on people or things, although I will do it quite often. I want to try and give you a view of the world through the eyes of a velvet yarmulke, black hat wearing frum jew. That's my half step back.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Two steps forward....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Why do frum women feel the need to drive tremendous SUVs? I feel like there is an inverse relationship between the size of the woman and the size of her car. The smaller the woman the bigger, longer, higher the SUV must be. Are they (as was said about Lord Farquaad in Shrek) "compensating for something"? Compensating for their husbands? Do they feel so inferior that they must validate themselves by driving (and I use that term loosely for what they do I am not sure constitutes driving) a behemoth of an automobile? Is it their outsized sense of importance that leads them to feel that only a car of this magnitude can contain them and their persona? Are there frum females with an entourage that must be able to fit in the back of their Escalade? are they going out clubbing and need room for all their girlfriends (or boyfriends, however they roll)? Is it really for their kids? C'mon we know that one is certainly not true, for a minivan is more practical and economical than any of the Suburbans, Expeditions, Escalades, or Hummers out there.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Do not approach this from an environmentalist point of view, for I am not concerned about the carbon footprint of frum women drivers. I am concerned for my relative safety when I am out on the roads. To me, driving and seeing a large SUV piloted by a small frum woman is terrifying.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Which brings me to my second point, why are they unable to drive? This is not a misogynistic rant against the female gender. I do not hate them, I am just perplexed at this wide spread social phenomenon. Females in general do not need me to defend them. They do things quite well, many things better than men, but for frum women, driving is not one of those things. Maybe it is the size of the SUV, maybe it is the bangs from their $3,000 shaitels in their eyes, maybe its the copious jewelry weighing down their arms. Whatever the root cause is I am not sure, but I am certain of one thing.....they are dangerous! This point is not reserved for Brooklyn, it spreads out and in fact may even be more prevalent in other neighborhoods such as the 5 Towns (that's Lawrence, Woodmere, Cedarhurst, Hewlett and Inwood).&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;In the words of Pat Benatar,&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;"Hit me with your best shot!"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;--SCS...F&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-1499158220421433520?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/1499158220421433520/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/half-step-back-but-two-steps-forward.html#comment-form' title='19 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/1499158220421433520'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/1499158220421433520'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/half-step-back-but-two-steps-forward.html' title='A half step back, but two steps forward'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>19</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551070852686256828.post-5429078643786976552</id><published>2008-12-10T01:54:00.000-05:00</published><updated>2008-12-10T02:19:05.626-05:00</updated><title type='text'>The deflowering of my blog</title><content type='html'>&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;This is my first attempt at blogging. It is 2:00 Am EST but I want to introduce myself. I live in Brooklyn (which I am not proud of but more on that to come), attend Law School full time (and should be studying for my finals) and have a wonderful wife (who is Bli Ayin Hara pregnant).&lt;/span&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;I have decided to start blogging because I feel that my opinions on things are too valuable to be shared with just my family and friends. Thank you to Heshy from &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://frumsatire.net"&gt;FrumSatire&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;, for although you do not know me I enjoy your blog immensely and you are the original inspiration for this blog. Also a thank you to &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com/"&gt;nameless, faceless&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt; for showing me that a full time Law Student can do other things besides, well besides be a full time law student.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;I will start simply enough. I hate Brooklyn. (I refer to the jewish brooklyn, for the non semitic readers of this blog. By the Jewish Brooklyn I mean the small cross-section known as Flatbush, and specifically Midwood and it's surrounding enclave.) I hate Brooklyn. There I said it twice, it's out in the open, no taking it back. Yes there are things to like about the place, but on a whole I find it deplorable. The people are haughty and pretentious on a level I have yet to experience elsewhere. They look down on everyone and everything as if they , and only they deserve to be walking on this earth fo rthey truly are G-d's gift to mankind. They act callously and without regard for other people, and not in the "just looking out for #1" kind of way. They are rude and snobby towards Jews and gentiles alike, in their actions both spoken and unspoken. It is the biggest jewish community outside of Israel, and yet I do not want any part of them. i will tell you where I rally want to reside at a future date, but suffice it to say that the day I move out of Brooklyn, church bells will ring, fireworks will light up the night sky, and yes even the sun will shine brighter, for "Brooklyn" is a blight to jewish society, nay society in general.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Do not take this to mean that I do not like the physical area for that holds no meaning to me whatsoever. This is purely about the people who inhabit this space, and while it is not &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;every person, &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;it certainly is the vast majority. And I find that the younger they are the worse the symptoms are manifested in them.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Now you may ask if I feel so strongly about the place, and I assure you I do (but it is now 2:08 AM and I must go to bed so I will elaborate more later) why do I live here? There is only one answer. My lovely wife. For even I have a decent bone in my body. I am not particularly conmpassionate, almost never express my feelings, (other than anger which I express frequently), generally not sentimental towards people, but when necessary I do what happens to be done. With the requisite amount of bitching and moaning, of course.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;So there is my introduction. I hope people read this. Please comment! I wanna hear what is going on in your minds, and what you think of my thoughts.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;Until next time,&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"&gt;SCSF (Sarcastic, Cynic, Skeptic...Frum)&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5551070852686256828-5429078643786976552?l=tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/feeds/5429078643786976552/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/deflowering-of-my-blog.html#comment-form' title='7 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/5429078643786976552'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/5551070852686256828/posts/default/5429078643786976552'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://tongueincheekfrum.blogspot.com/2008/12/deflowering-of-my-blog.html' title='The deflowering of my blog'/><author><name>Cynic</name><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='32' height='32' src='http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H9mDVDgJwa0/ST_IerjAWQI/AAAAAAAACWI/gV3O8cYOJTw/S220/Sarcasmthumb.jpg'/></author><thr:total>7</thr:total></entry></feed>
