Sunday, January 18, 2009


Reality is finally setting in. There really is only one person who reads my blog. No matter I will trundle on for her sake (you know who you are) :)

I started school again and after a week of classes I remembered why I loathe it. endless class hours, sitting in the library for interminable periods of time, reading until my eyes hurt. All fabulous stuff. On top of all that I have gotten three grades back from last semester. the first 2, well they were awesome. I was on a high, the likes of which I have not experienced in years. And then it all came crashing down when grade three came in. Like a dart to the lung I was deflated so fast I shocked myself. It hurt and it hurt bad.

That's it, grieve for me.....and look for my recipes to start showing up on material maidel's recipe blog Kosher Cuisine

Monday, January 12, 2009

Back to Basics

I just noticed that it has been 10 days since my last post. That is far too long. There is no real reason, just that when I am not in school I spend much less time in front of a computer so I forget to post. School starts tomorrow so I should be posting more frequently, but don't bet on it. However, I think I have 4 readers (+/- 4) so not to many people noticed my absence. Feel free to let me know if you have.

Having just read nameless' post about her taking down some of her old stuff because it grossed her out, I realized that my old stuff didn't gross me out so much as it made me upset. If only because I started this as a place to get my homicidal, maniacal, anti-human race, Brooklyn-hating, Jewish-stereotype bashing out in the open, and I have not done nearly enough of that.

So, let's return to our roots. I spent Shabbos with my mother's entire family. 25 people around the Shabbos table. It was so crowded we all had to eat in unison otherwise you couldnt lift your fork without nearly maiming the person next to you. Friday night the subject of double parking came up. I can think of a few things more rage inducing than a double parked car as I am trying to drive, but not too many come to mind. Why the f-ck do people think that their trip to the cleaners, liquor store, takeout place etc. is more important than anyone else's time? (Assholes on Avenue M I am talking to you.)Who the f-ck died and made you king? In my opinion, it's not that there are too many, but there are not enough meter maids giving double parking tickets, and the tickets they write are not enough. If you are sitting in your car double parked you should get a ticket, and 2 points on your license as if you committed a moving violation. If you double park and leave your car? Let the air out of one or more tires (depends on how long you have left your car). Then when you try to change it in middle of the street, maybe a good samaritan will hit you and put you out of your misery.

If this offends you, I don't give 2 sh-ts (as long as you keep reading of course). I am done being nice.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Safety Dance

I haven't posted in a week. Only one person, maybe two probably noticed but I will keep posting anyway. I was away for a few days in Atlantic City. A friend of mine who is a degenerate gambler got a room comped for me and my wife so we took advantage. Now that I am back, $20 dollars richer, I will respond to nameless' tag of me in Maidel's meme game.

So here we go, 7 interesting things about me, Cynic.

1) Acrophobia. Not severe but pretty debilitating. Not paralyzing, but enough to make me shake and break out in a sweat. bad enough to have to be pushed off a high diving board into a pool because I could not jump myself. Yet, I absolutely love roller coasters. Maybe the fear makes it more enjoyable, I get more of a rush, I don't know what it is but I avoid high places, like a fat guy avoids broccoli. I keep my distance.

2) I am a huge sports fan. Yankees, Giants, Islanders. 2 out of 3 ain't bad...My mood ranges from happy to euphoric when my teams win, and from sad to deep depression when they lose (except for the Islanders, I have become desensitized to them losing). I follow my teams every day all year round, whether it is their season or not. Newspapers, radio, internet, I use them all for information. So, you might think I play fantasy sports but......

3) ...I hate fantasy sports!!! If you are a fan of any team, root for that team for crying out loud! There is no reason why every sunday you should be sitting watching a completely random football game hoping the backup tight end gets 3 touchdowns, and the wide receiver passes for a score. Be a fan, not an asinine stathead.

4) Obscure 80's bands. One hit wonders. The more obscure the better. Men Without Hats. Lipps Inc. Devo. Bow Wow Wow. Soft Cell. Waitresses. Falco. Dexy's MIdnight Runners. After the Fire. I'm a big fan, period.

5) Biking. Not of the spandex wearing or harley riding variety. just good old bike riding. I am a bit more serious than your average cyclist, but I have not reached the stage where I own more than one bike, ride with a group, have bike specific clothing, or suffer from saddle sores. I just like to get out on my bike and ride. 20-30 miles at a time, upstate is my favorite location, preferably with music in my ears. I aspire to need spandex (for that will mean I lost alot of weight).

6) Cheap. I am cheap. Occassionally petty as well but always cheap. Good qualities in a hooker (cheap anyway - thanks nameless for that one) I don't like to spend money, and when I have to, I minimize it as much as I can. Based on a poll of my two other really cheap friends I placed second. By a wide margin, but also comfortably ahead of the third place finisher.

7) Lastly, I have never gotten completely drunk. Drunk enough to not drive? Yes. Drunk enough to puke in a curbside garbage can? Yes. But completely drunk to the point where I dont remember what happened, or lost control? No. I am way to guarded for that. Deathly afraid if what I will say or do while inebriated to let myself ever reach that stage.

And now the wrap up. Thank you nameless, for making me sit here and come up with this list. I know I told you I would not do it but I decided that I would suck it up and come up with 7 things. They are mostly lame, but they should evoke more than one comment, so I guess I would win in that case. I have but one person to tag, so hopefully this does not die with me. Nemo you're it.

Seven Facts About Me Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.