Superman

I have an ongoing fascination with a particular asshat in school. My friends and I refer to him as Superman, because only the Man of Steel could possibly carry out all the things he claims he does. And only the Man fo Steel - Guido version could tell it over with his flair.
Here is a typical comment -
Superman: "I went to the gym last night and blasted my lats for 4 hours. Then I came to school and 6 am did 6 hours of Con Law, took a 20 minute nap and went back to the gym. Gotta work on my pecs, man."

Recently however, he made a comment so startlingly retarded that I laughed out loud, even though I was a mere 10 feet away. Let me set the stage. Two girls come into class. They are best friends, and are practically joined at the hip. You almost never see one without the other. Both are fairly attractive and are borderline anorexic skinny. They sit down and the fun began.

Older Woman: "Are you 2 best friends?"

Best Friends: (somewhat sheepishly) "Yeah"

Older woman: "I knew it! You have a certain look about you, that I just knew you
were best friends."

Superman: (in an uncomfortably loud voice) "It's because they are both hot!"

Need I say more?