Twit!

Don't have time for a full update seeing as how I am in class, but you can now follow me on twitter - @FrumCynic

I am assuming no one actually cares, but I feel obligated to post this.

and on the 5th day.....

It is hotter than a camel's balls in the Sahara. The heat is set on 71 and there is nothing I can do about it!

The food, is as bland and colorless as ever, and no one seems to care!

The lights are off, the shades are drawn, and everyone is on the verge of depression;but I have no idea why.

Stay tuned for more, hilarity (or suicide) will ensue.....

Food? Really?

Supper last night: Meat, potatoes, carrots cooked in a platic bag, sans seasoning.

Question - "What kind of meat is this?"
Answer - "Pepper Steak, but I don't like cooking with peppers so I made it this way in the bag."

C'mon, at least try a little.....

Superman

I have an ongoing fascination with a particular asshat in school. My friends and I refer to him as Superman, because only the Man of Steel could possibly carry out all the things he claims he does. And only the Man fo Steel - Guido version could tell it over with his flair.
Here is a typical comment -
Superman: "I went to the gym last night and blasted my lats for 4 hours. Then I came to school and 6 am did 6 hours of Con Law, took a 20 minute nap and went back to the gym. Gotta work on my pecs, man."

Recently however, he made a comment so startlingly retarded that I laughed out loud, even though I was a mere 10 feet away. Let me set the stage. Two girls come into class. They are best friends, and are practically joined at the hip. You almost never see one without the other. Both are fairly attractive and are borderline anorexic skinny. They sit down and the fun began.

Older Woman: "Are you 2 best friends?"

Best Friends: (somewhat sheepishly) "Yeah"

Older woman: "I knew it! You have a certain look about you, that I just knew you
were best friends."

Superman: (in an uncomfortably loud voice) "It's because they are both hot!"

Need I say more?

I'm Back.....

So the day you have been waiting for with baited breath has arrived; I have come back to blog again. For a change though this will be a happy, carefree, giggly, jubilant post, although that will soon change as i will explain.

See, my wife gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday. That makes me a father. Freaky yet cool all at once. I don't have much more to say, other than holding your child in your hands is unbelievably awesome.

Now, I get to move into my in-laws house. That is where the dark side of this blog will return, and I will be here to tell you all about it.


So, revel in my renaissance and await my next post.

Ugh

Reality is finally setting in. There really is only one person who reads my blog. No matter I will trundle on for her sake (you know who you are) :)

I started school again and after a week of classes I remembered why I loathe it. endless class hours, sitting in the library for interminable periods of time, reading until my eyes hurt. All fabulous stuff. On top of all that I have gotten three grades back from last semester. the first 2, well they were awesome. I was on a high, the likes of which I have not experienced in years. And then it all came crashing down when grade three came in. Like a dart to the lung I was deflated so fast I shocked myself. It hurt and it hurt bad.

That's it, grieve for me.....and look for my recipes to start showing up on material maidel's recipe blog Kosher Cuisine

Back to Basics

I just noticed that it has been 10 days since my last post. That is far too long. There is no real reason, just that when I am not in school I spend much less time in front of a computer so I forget to post. School starts tomorrow so I should be posting more frequently, but don't bet on it. However, I think I have 4 readers (+/- 4) so not to many people noticed my absence. Feel free to let me know if you have.

Having just read nameless' post about her taking down some of her old stuff because it grossed her out, I realized that my old stuff didn't gross me out so much as it made me upset. If only because I started this as a place to get my homicidal, maniacal, anti-human race, Brooklyn-hating, Jewish-stereotype bashing out in the open, and I have not done nearly enough of that.

So, let's return to our roots. I spent Shabbos with my mother's entire family. 25 people around the Shabbos table. It was so crowded we all had to eat in unison otherwise you couldnt lift your fork without nearly maiming the person next to you. Friday night the subject of double parking came up. I can think of a few things more rage inducing than a double parked car as I am trying to drive, but not too many come to mind. Why the f-ck do people think that their trip to the cleaners, liquor store, takeout place etc. is more important than anyone else's time? (Assholes on Avenue M I am talking to you.)Who the f-ck died and made you king? In my opinion, it's not that there are too many, but there are not enough meter maids giving double parking tickets, and the tickets they write are not enough. If you are sitting in your car double parked you should get a ticket, and 2 points on your license as if you committed a moving violation. If you double park and leave your car? Let the air out of one or more tires (depends on how long you have left your car). Then when you try to change it in middle of the street, maybe a good samaritan will hit you and put you out of your misery.

If this offends you, I don't give 2 sh-ts (as long as you keep reading of course). I am done being nice.