Epic Fail

It has been a few days since I last posted, and I know there are a (very) few of you who may have noticed. The reason is that I have had a Chanukah party every night this week, save for tonight. Why is Chanukah the time designated to annoy the crap out of family and friends with excessive lame parties? (especially from the in-laws side) The rest of the year we don't "party" but com Chanukah and we can't stop. Are we that jealous of all the Christmas parties? If you are, go and bake a fruitcake and leave me out of it. I dont need to be bothered.

But, I wanted to say something else also. Maybe this will explain why my tone is especially bitter tonight. I went skiing today and suffered an epic fall. I am a pretty good skier, everything but the hardest double black diamond trails and I wiped out fantastically on the bottom of a ridiculously easy blue trail. I slammed my head to the floor, bruised my cheek, gave myself whiplash and lastly, suffered a crushing blow to my pride and ego.

Now you know why I am bitter. And no, another Chanukah party from the in-laws side, after Shabbos by the in-laws, will only do one thing; make me homicidal.

It should give me plenty of what to rant about though, but I refuse to see the good in this yet. Stay posted maybe I will find it.

SCS...F

A(nother) Holiday?

So Chanukah is upon us. don't get me wrong, I love this time of year and I love Chanukah. My hebrew birthday is righ after and it is generally a happy time of year. Although I wonder how much of the happiness is attributable to the festive christmas atmosphere everywhere.

For the 8 nights of Chanukah I have 4 parties, but i will get into that subject a little later. for now I have a more pressing concern.

Shabbos Chanukah.

I get invited by both my parents and my in-laws. Apparently it has become another yom tov which must be split between the two sides? When did this happen? Do we really need another one? All I know is that one isde will end up being insulted if we don't go to them so that is what it comes down to.

Seriously, when did this become a shabbos where you have to invite company and make a big deal? All i hear is "where are you going to be for shabbos chanukah?" Wtf? When did it become it's own entity? Is it just mine and my wife's family? Anyone else experiencing this ridiculousness?!?! Anyone care to venture a reason?

Loud Noises

Although I am not too tired (ala Nameless), I just don't have the patience to sit and write a long-winded post right now.

So a quick question which shul on shabbos has given me. This is for all the frummies out there who read this (c'mon I know there are more than my usual commenters who read this). Why must you daven so loud in shul? I know FrumSatire has mentioned this, but I really need to get to the bottom of it. Do you really think that the volume of your davening is directly proportionate to its meaning and value? One argument is that it helps you concentrate (I know because I have heard this from a loud davener himself), but I just cannot help but to think that there can be some other way for you to channel your concentration besides yelling like a howler monkey. Someway where you will not annoy me to the point of physical assault, yet still maintain your high level of concentration.

Anyone else have this experience? Is it only men or women also?

SCS...F

It's Five O'clock Somewhere

The moment I had been waiting for finally came, and it was strangely anti-climactic. I should have known it was going to be, but I kept hoping and anticipating anyway.
In my opinion being in law school is like being a golfer or a gambler; 2 people who according to Lewis Black, lead much fuller lives when they anticipate, and which are really crappy when they participate.

Yes, I finished my semester and it sucked. It went a little something like this.

The whole semester - crappy
Studying for Finals - amazingly and horrifically crappy
Taking Finals - cumulatively like getting stoned .....see,
  Banking Law - Chinese Water Torture
  Constitutional Law - Flogging
  Corporations - Blunt Force Trauma
  Evidence - Sodomy

Now I know what you are thinking, how does he know what it feels like to get stoned, or flogged, or water-tortured? The answer is I don't. But, I can't imagine it is any more painful, emotionally and cognitively, than finals in law school. To wit, If my Evidence exam could have stood up behind me, it would have performed unspeakable horrors, which would leave me in therapy for a very long time.

Thankfully they are over, and I can get back to doing things I really enjoy. Blogging, preparing for a child iy"h, eating, skiing, eating etc.

P.S. If you know what any of those things actually feel like, please let me know. If you don't feel free to speculate in the comments.

SCS...F

14 Years

As any fan of hard rock and pasty white men with awful corn rows can probably tell you, Guns N' Roses released their long awaited album about a month ago. This, after 14 years and a reported $13 million spent in making it. I am an unabashed fan of G&R and have no qualms about liking the new album, even if Axl is the only remaining member from the original band. I am almost sorry to say, (except that I really don't have time to care) but the album is not really missing Izzy, Slash and Duff. But I did not come here to critique the album. No one cares what I have to say about the music....but the vocals are vintage Axl, and the guitar, featuring Buckethead, while not quite equaling Slash's previous work with the band, is certainly excellent. The lyrics are just as angry, and the total sound is as much over the top now as it was then. Not a *Great* record, but certainly much better than average. But I digress...

The latest story is that W. Axl Rose is Anthropophobic, which according to Websters is a "pathological fear of people or human companionship". That is amazing. All this time he had been keeping the album had been in hiding, and when it finally drops he develops a paralyzing phobia of people and goes into hiding himself. Oh the irony.

I now go back to listening to Shwayze (thank you Maidel for the download) while I study....

If I Could Only Flag Her Down

I am annoyed at myself. The last post was lame and I should not have written it. I usually don't post twice a day but I am kinda angry at myself, and I don't want that post as the top one on my blog for the next day or two. So now with some Offspring playing in my headphones, I can write the post I should have written for today.

What is wrong with people that they can't say Good Shabbos when you pass them on the street? I went to a different shul this past shabbos, and while walking to and from shul which is a few blocks from my house I passed numerous people; men, women, old, young, in between. I made it a point to give a little nod and say "Good Shabbos" to these people. No one f*@#ing answered back!!!! What the hell is wrong with people?! Are the women afraid they are gonna catch some sort of STD by saying Good Shabbos to a guy? Is this what they teach in BY these days? Are the single girls so nervous at hearing a guy's voice that they can't answer back? How about the married women, does wearing $4,000 shaitel automaically make you a rude b*tch? I am not asking for your parking spot, or a sexual favor I am just saying God Shabbos. Common courtesy would dictate that you answer me, or at least nod! Why was I ingnored by every person?
This extends to men as well. Do they think tbey are gonna get AIDS? Are they afraid saying Good Shabbos to a guy makes them a homosexual? I thought maybe that was the reason, but then I remembered Jacob da Jew quoting a post by the Material Maidel about how jewish boys have no beitzim, and realized that it made sense. If you have no balls, then maybe you are shy and awkward around other men, like a preteen girl would be. To this I say "Grow a pair!" It is a frikkin Good Shabbos, not a sexual proposition!

And I am not asking for anyone to initiate this, I know that a snowball has a better chance in hell than that happening.

So what's the deal?

SCS...F

Boogie Shoes

So if you are not holed up in some bunker, you probably have heard that President Bush was the target of a shoe throwing attack:



I for one think this is hilarious. Watch the whole video and you will see that Bush is much cooler than anyone thinks. For starters, he went in for the handshake with the Iraqi PM like they were frat brothers. Then when the guy throws the shoe he sidesteps the first one, doesn't even flinch at the next one, and jokes about it after! How cool is that? (and the Iraqi PM makes an attempt to block the second shoe, but notice how he didn't try too hard...)

I know, Obama could have done better right? Obama would have caught the shoe. Obama would have dunked it on his sorry ass. Obama would have....

Oh, and did anyone else realize that the Secret Service was incredibly slow in getting there? You think maybe they are tired of protecting his lame duck ass, and just want to see what it's like being the pimping for Obama? I wonder if there isn't some truth to that....

SCS...F