Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The deflowering of my blog

This is my first attempt at blogging. It is 2:00 Am EST but I want to introduce myself. I live in Brooklyn (which I am not proud of but more on that to come), attend Law School full time (and should be studying for my finals) and have a wonderful wife (who is Bli Ayin Hara pregnant).

I have decided to start blogging because I feel that my opinions on things are too valuable to be shared with just my family and friends. Thank you to Heshy from FrumSatire, for although you do not know me I enjoy your blog immensely and you are the original inspiration for this blog. Also a thank you to nameless, faceless for showing me that a full time Law Student can do other things besides, well besides be a full time law student.

I will start simply enough. I hate Brooklyn. (I refer to the jewish brooklyn, for the non semitic readers of this blog. By the Jewish Brooklyn I mean the small cross-section known as Flatbush, and specifically Midwood and it's surrounding enclave.) I hate Brooklyn. There I said it twice, it's out in the open, no taking it back. Yes there are things to like about the place, but on a whole I find it deplorable. The people are haughty and pretentious on a level I have yet to experience elsewhere. They look down on everyone and everything as if they , and only they deserve to be walking on this earth fo rthey truly are G-d's gift to mankind. They act callously and without regard for other people, and not in the "just looking out for #1" kind of way. They are rude and snobby towards Jews and gentiles alike, in their actions both spoken and unspoken. It is the biggest jewish community outside of Israel, and yet I do not want any part of them. i will tell you where I rally want to reside at a future date, but suffice it to say that the day I move out of Brooklyn, church bells will ring, fireworks will light up the night sky, and yes even the sun will shine brighter, for "Brooklyn" is a blight to jewish society, nay society in general.

Do not take this to mean that I do not like the physical area for that holds no meaning to me whatsoever. This is purely about the people who inhabit this space, and while it is not every person, it certainly is the vast majority. And I find that the younger they are the worse the symptoms are manifested in them.

Now you may ask if I feel so strongly about the place, and I assure you I do (but it is now 2:08 AM and I must go to bed so I will elaborate more later) why do I live here? There is only one answer. My lovely wife. For even I have a decent bone in my body. I am not particularly conmpassionate, almost never express my feelings, (other than anger which I express frequently), generally not sentimental towards people, but when necessary I do what happens to be done. With the requisite amount of bitching and moaning, of course.

So there is my introduction. I hope people read this. Please comment! I wanna hear what is going on in your minds, and what you think of my thoughts.

Until next time,
SCSF (Sarcastic, Cynic, Skeptic...Frum)


  1. Ah, yes, the 2 am rant: welcome to blogging! Happy to hear about your wife, bummer about Brooklyn. Guess this means I'm cancelling my sunny mid-winter vacation at 770 :)

  2. Since I only have one comment and I am new to blogging this is a watershed event so i will respond in full. 770 would not fall under the heading of "Brooklyn" which I so lovingly railed about a few hours ago. Although part of the Boro of Brooklyn, crown Heights is it's own place, with it's own people and culture. I happen to like that area, although only as a visitor not as resident. With that, rebook that cruise down Eastern Parkway with a stop at 770! Crown Heights is fun!!!

  3. Well, I don't know ... Crown Heights has its fair share of "Brooklyn." And there are even a few women driving SUV's. Although visiting isn't such a horrible experience, I suppose.

  4. Nemo,you are at once correct and mistaken. CH has it's fair share of Brooklyn to be sure, and probably more than its fair share of women in Suvs. what it lacks is that unmistakable sleazy feeling, the indescribable "ugh" that the Flatbush I described has. For whatever reason, Lubavitchers dont give off that same vibe. Other vibes yes but not that one...

  5. Whew, what a relief. Crown Heights, here I come!

  6. Wait, what vibes does one get from Lubavitchers? As a convert, it's important for me to absorb all these prejudices I wasn't exposed to as a kid....

  7. have much to learn then. I don't have any problem with Lubavitchers. My family operates on the fringe of their culture.

    That said, there is a certain feeling one gets when walking on Kingston and President streets in CH though. I dont know exactly what it is, but it could be the same feeling you get in BP if you are not "one of them". Only not in a disdainful way, more in a "you are missing out on our wonderful way of life. Come join us, grow a beard and a walrus mustache, dirty your shirt, untuck it from your pants, smush your hat, take off your jacket, never wear a tie, and ask people to put on tefillin" kind of way.

    Really they are very nice people and as long as they are aware that the Rebbe is actually dead, not hiding somewhere I even like them.

    But what is with all of them wearing green and brown?